The Man Behind the Doughnut
by Katsurinu
Summary: Vash ends up going on trial for stealing doughnuts, will he go to jail or will they let him go? Language and hentai reference. R


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Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun or any of the characters

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**The Man Behind the Doughnut**

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Vash sat on trial with his head down and cuffs around him wrists. He was caught stealing doughnuts from a local coffee shop. A judge sat right in front of him eating breakfast for it was still early morning. "All rise… you may be seated…" said a man that stood in the corner of the court room.

"So Vash how do you plead?" asked The Judge

"Hunger…" Vash said with a faint smile upon his face

"That's why you're here, you either plead guilty or innocent," The Judge said noticing Vash scooting his chair across the floor and towards the door.

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Vash was now cuffed by the ankles, wrists, and to the chair which all in it's self was cuffed to the table he was sitting at. "Now lets try this again…How do you plead?" The Judge asked as Vash sat staring at the cups of water in front of him.

"Objection…" Vash said with a smile as a paper was placed in front of him of what to say and when "Wait I mean Innocent. Sorry this paper is a little off…"

The Judge sat rubbing his head (This is going to take longer than I thought), he thought looking over at the coffee shop owner. "Any witnesses?" he asked motioning for an answer.

"One, Sir…" the coffee shop owner said nodding his head

"Well?" asked The Judge as he sat with a blank stare over at Vash rocking back and forth in the chair trying to get closer to the glass of water.

"I call forth, Kuroneko." the coffee shop owner said as a small black cat walked up and took a seat next to the judge.

The Judge sat looking at the cat in a strange way as Kuroneko had taken a truth oath "Meow…" Kuroneko said as the man walked away looking at the judge as though to say what the hell had been going on.

"So Kuroneko, what did you see or hear when this man entered the Coffee Shop?" asked a lawyer how was walking back and forth in front of the cat.

"….Meow…." Kuroneko purred as the Judge looked at the coffee shop owner

"Get that damn cat off the stand!" the judge yelled scaring Kuroneko into a corner "Now who else is there?"

"Me your honor…" said a man from the back of the room which stood waving his arm in the air trying to make the smoke cloud around his head disappear, as he walked to the front dragging his feet across the floor.

"And you are?" asked The Judge

"Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I was there when it happened, when this man stole and ate those 2,000 doughnuts," Wolfwood said taking a seat next to the Judge

The Judge sat watching Wolfwood as though to say 'and what happened' "Well?" he asked

"Oh yeah, he just stood there and ate those doughnuts, there's really no way to describe how he did it within 15 seconds but he managed…" Wolfwood continued before Vash noticed who is was.

"HEY AREN'T YOU SUPPOSE TO BE ON MY SIDE!?" Vash yelled and the glass of water in front of him got knocked over, he started to cried "My water!"

"I'm a priest I'm on no one's side!" Wolfwood said loudly

Vash sat with his head down and could tell it was the last of him, he gave a deep long sigh before letting his head fall to the table. And the courtroom fell silent.

"Well…" Wolfwood sat rocked back onto two legs of the chair resting "After all the lives his man saved he ought be let free…"

When they arrested Vash they hadn't known his own background so they couldn't but in on trial of it so mostly anything Wolfwood said they went for. "I guess…" the Judge said slamming the pallet onto the desk "His punishment is to work at that same Coffee Shop, giving away doughnuts but not allowed to eat, lick, or sniff them… for 6 months"

"Awe…" Vash said moaning as Wolfwood walked over to him

"What a punishment that is for ya… damn your better off in a dirty jail cell with a bunch of guys wanting to fuck you up the ass…" Wolfwood said lighting yet again another cigarette with a chuckle.

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Vash the next day ended up standing in front of the same Coffee Shop handing out doughnuts and every second he looked down at them and let out a small whimper that he couldn't eat them. And before to long he ended up shoving 5 doughnuts at once in his mouth. Being caught in action for his crime he was sent back where he started.

"Seeing that this is your second try at this then I'm just going to be straight forward with you. You have one year in jail that you have to serve." the Judge said as left the room and law officials walked over to Vash and took him by the arms.

"Hey wait!" Wolfwood ran over to Vash whispering something to him before escorted out.

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Vash was then placed inside a jail cell as he wore a orange suit with a 5 digit number on the back. "Hiya…" he said to the guys that had been in the same cell with a smile. The guys walked over to him with a grin on his face and moments later Vash stood pinned against the wall. "Hey what are going to do me?!"

"You need broken in a bit…" said the man that stood behind Vash

"CAN'T WE TALK THIS OVER?!" Vash yelled

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Katsurinu: Ah! Poor Vash, sorry I wrote that… you're still my favor of all times!

Vash: My ass hurts cause of you…

Katsurinu: Don't blame me it's those sick internet people, and you know who you are!

Wolfwood: I told him not to drop the soap…

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End file.
